Category Archives: power

what you resist persists

Director’s note:  At thinkpeace workshop we encourage girls to embrace their truths: those qualities about themselves that are fundamental to feeling good about themselves. Sometimes it’s easy to let other voices get inside and create self-doubt. Holding onto our truths is important to standing in our own strength in the face of pushbacks from others. Lately, intern GARMIN has realized the power of knowing and owning her truths. It’s an ongoing process for each of us. 

“What you resist persists” by GARMIN

During my last yoga teacher training weekend we had a grueling 2-hour hip-opening practice. Our teacher kept saying, “What you resist persists” meaning that whatever we kept holding back from would continue to be there.

In her acceptance speech for the John Steinbeck Award, MSNBC host, activist, PowerGirl, (and my big girl crush) Rachel Maddow, said this about being out as queer,

As a general rule, if you can be out, you really ought to be out because, A) you will be happier, being closeted is a sad thing to be. It also makes you vulnerable. When you are closeted people can always have something to use against you and so you are never actually operating from a position of strength even if you feel like coming out is something that would make you vulnerable in the world, being closeted is a much more vulnerable thing to be. You can never speak from a position of strength unless you are speaking from a position of honesty.

While this is the speech that pushed me over that metaphorical edge to come out to my parents, Maddow’s last line, “You can never speak from position of strength unless you are speaking from a position of honesty” is the line that popped up again for me last week.  These past two weeks have been hard for me. I installed my thesis and then it has been one event after the next: openings, meet the artist, showcases, and more events– literally non-stop. While there have been happy, exciting, and liberating moments, there have been just as many frustrating and annoying times. Our class of 11 is disconnected, and consumed with what we call in yoga teacher training, “a concern for looking good,” which basically means they will do whatever they can to make themselves look good and everyone else look bad by playing the “ame” game- shame, blame, and complain.  I decided that it wasn’t worth my energy to continue to be around people that brought me down. You see, I value myself, my power, and my strength and when I was putting myself in a position of powerlessness by being around people who didn’t value me I was taking myself out of my life. I wasn’t speaking from my position of strength because I wasn’t in my full honesty and truth of myself.

In typical GARMIN fashion, I walked right up to my thesis teacher and said, “I’m not coming to the group meeting of the class anymore because it’s bad for my mojo. I value myself, my strength, and my power.” She said, “OK. Have a great day!”

And just like that I was standing back in my full power.

However, just like the hip-opening practice “what you resist persists”– I had been resisting initiating this conversation with my thesis teacher. I had been frustrated for some time and it had to get to a point of me realizing its persistence to do something about it. When I surrendered to what was put on offer (the hip opening practice), initiating the conversation, it wasn’t so hard. Holding back was actually harder.

I think we as young women hold ourselves back ALL the time. From my experience, we hold back for a variety of reasons: we play small so others can play big, we don’t think we are worthy, we are operating out of fear, etc. In this past week’s U.S. version of TIME magazine, the cover highlighted Beyoncé, pop mogul, mom and PowerGirl. In the closing paragraph, writer and Facebook VP Sheryl Sandberg wrote,

In the past year, Beyoncé has sold out the Mrs. Carter Show World Tour while being a full-time mother. Her secret: hard work, honesty and authenticity. And her answer to the question, What would you do if you weren’t afraid? appears to be “Watch me. I’m about to do it.” Then she adds, “You can, too.”

Step into your greatness PowerGirl!

what do we mean: ‘never again’?

It has been 20 years since the 1994 Rwanda genocide that killed 800,000 Tutsis and moderate Hutus in a 100-day rampage.   Following our work with One Million Bones, Students Rebuild, and CARE over the past two years, on raising awareness about ongoing genocides, the thinkpeace community is deep in thought and conversation about what happened in Rwanda, is still happening in Sudan, Somalia, Burma, Syria and the DRC, and what lessons have really been learned that can help prevent future atrocities. Since World War II, the international community has said “never again,” a yet our failure to act has continued to cost lives.

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Memorials across Rwanda are constant reminders of the brutality that destroyed the nation. In the United States there seems to be little coverage regarding this anniversary– and even less discussion. Last night, on Facebook, I saw that a friend had changed his profile picture to the Rwandan flag, in honor of the victims and  survivors of the genocide. He has spent time there for his work, and loves the people and the land. No one knew what his picture was for– what it meant to him, personally, to celebrate a rebuilding Rwanda. And yet, to the children born during or after this time in Rwandan history, awareness about genocide is vital. “Never again” must stand for something. We must know what happened and why… and see that it’s not over and we must not stand by again.

U.N. Secretary-General Ban Ki-Moon has urged the international community to learn from its failure to stop the genocide in Rwanda, and to take stronger action to confront current crises, like the conflicts in Syria and the Central African Republic. “The international community,” he said, “cannot claim to care about atrocity crimes and then shrink from the commitment of resources and will required to actually prevent them.” The UN was not effective in preventing the Rwanda genocide, much less in stopping it.  The international community’s silence was wrong. Much more could and should have been done–  instead, peacekeeping troops were withdrawn when they were most needed.  “The world has yet to fully overcome its divisions, its indifference, its moral blind spots,” he said, citing the atrocities that occurred in Srebrenica in 1995, and the current conflicts in Syria and the Central African Republic. “There is a truth to the human condition that is as alarming today as it was 20 years ago; the fragility of our civility. The bonds that hold us together can swiftly disappear.”

So here’s the question: when we say “never again” what do we really mean? What can we do to end genocide? How can we strengthen the “bonds that hold us together” in a world that seems full of anger, righteousness and extremism? What role can you play? When you see or hear about any human being (actually, any living creature) in need or distress, SPEAK UP!  Celebrate diversity in your every day life. Failure to act is not acceptable. When we say “never again” it means that each and every one of us takes a stand. As we laid bones on the National Mall last summer as a visual petition against genocide, we felt it– the connection to others who had been brutally killed because they were different. We asked ourselves: underneath it all, aren’t we the same? Looking out at the Mall covered in one million symbolic bones, we cried for the blood spilled, the lives lost, and the damage done to future generations. There is another way. And together we must find it. Never again, means that we must be accountable to each other and to promoting peace, love and understanding.

“We really do belong to each other.” -Naomi Natale

 

take a deep breath

  •                                                                                                                                                                                         This is part one of my to-do list for the next 12 days. Things you won’t see on this to-do list include: eat sushi for breakfast, care for dying cat, sleep, read bedtime stories, drive in the country listening to TSwift, discuss politics, and be 90% technology free and yet, that’s exactly what I’ve been doing since Friday. I think the universe has a way of telling us to (excuse my language) slow the f*** down. 

I don’t know about you— my life is slightly out of control at the present moment. And by slightly, I mean really. Really out of control. There are only so many hours in the day.  And our go-go-go culture expects us to get everything done, on time, and with 100% accuracy all. the. time. Sometimes, it just doesn’t happen.  I decided months ago to take this weekend off, to go see some friends, see my favorite slam poet and PowerGirl Andrea Gibson perform, and to then go home for the night, sleep in my own bed, get a detox push, and hop on the next flight back to DC. Alas, come Sunday my train to go home was delayed and then we got stuck somewhere between Rochester and Albany and what was supposed to be a 4 hour train ride turned into a 6.5 hour soul-searching-mojo-finding-session on the train. Continue on to Monday, I was supposed to be on a flight back to DC-  oh, don’t you know, DC got 9 inches of snow and my flight was canceled. I then tried to get on a different flight for Tuesday and last night at 10pm I got a call saying that flight was canceled. I’m tentatively scheduled to be on a flight for Wednesday morning.

Now, prior to maybe a month ago this whole fiasco would have been just that, a fiasco. I would have been so mad, I would have been screaming out to the world “HELLO UNIVERSE. CAN’T YOU SEE I HAVE A THESIS DUE IN 12 DAYS? I DON’T HAVE TIME FOR THIS. WOULD YOU JUST SUCK THE SNOW BACK UP AND UNCANCEL MY FLIGHT AND PUT ME BACK IN THE STUDIO? THANKS!”  And yet, this time I literally can’t do a single thing. I don’t have my computer, I don’t have any books, I’m not in the studio, and no planes are moving and so, I’m here. Grounded. Quite literally. Feet on the floor, being still and slowing down, and looking my overachieving-perfectionism in the eye.

Often talked about here on the blog PowerGirl Brene Brown says this about perfectionism: “When perfectionism is driving, shame is always riding shotgun — and fear is the annoying back seat driver. We struggle with perfectionism in areas where we feel most vulnerable to shame. So we’re all comfortable saying, ‘I’m a little perfectionistic,’ which is code for ‘I do things really well’ — but I’m not comfortable saying I have shame. It’s a way of thinking that says this: ‘If I look perfect, live perfect, work perfect, I can avoid or minimize criticism, blame and ridicule.’ All perfectionism is, is the 20-ton shield that we carry around hoping that it will keep us from being hurt.”

Woof. Let that sink in for a moment. I’ll wait.

 

 

Really. Let it sink in.

 

She hits it right on the head. I’ve been living in the perfectionism mindset about my thesis. My thinking goes something like this, “If I do a perfect thesis then a perfect collector will buy my work and then I’ll have money in my bank account and then I’ll be able to go to Mexico on a perfect vacation and then I’ll be able to come back perfectly all blissed out and then my life will be perfect.” Do you see how many times I say the word perfect in my thinking? WAY. TOO. MANY.  My high school advisor at one point said, “Why are you trying to fit in, when you were born to stand out?!” HELLO. TRUTH BOMB. In the past few days my thinking has changed to “Ok. Deep breaths. Your thesis will turn out exactly how it’s supposed to turn out. There are plenty of people who will have a ‘perfect thesis’ there is no need to add yourself to that category. Now, go take a nap and drink some green juice and it will all be ok.” WOAH. Big difference there.

Finally, for one more reinforcement— Germany based PowerGirl-run graphic design/social practice art project ‘Work is Not a Job’ believes that what you create is more important than what you do. When you wake up excited, full, and fresh you create more exciting things and in turn, when you create more exciting things the world changes. I don’t know about you but I don’t create exciting things when I don’t sleep because I’m too busy ‘perfecting’ the hell out of everything. And when we don’t sleep we become what my friend Ellen calls “a walking safety hazard.” I don’t want to be “a walking safety hazard” perfecting everything, I want to be out there knee-deep changing and shaking things up.

Now, I don’t know what the ‘thing’ that you try to perfect the hell out of is: it could be your thesis, or it could be your relationships or your AP Exam, or your college apps, or your sleep schedule— I have no clue and yet, my guess is that ‘perfecting’ it has only left you exhausted and frustrated. And so, just as a possibility for this week, what would happen if you let go of perfecting your life? What would you gain? What could come of it?

As always, send your thoughts, comments, and questions. garmin@thinkpeaceworkshop.org

on the road to gender equality

 

Najat Vallaud-Belkacem, French Minister of Women’s Rights

Director’s note: In the United States, January is National Slavery and Human Trafficking Prevention month. Throughout the month, thinkpeace girls have been focussing on raising awareness about modern slavery and the commercial sexual exploitation of young women and girls. President Obama called sex trafficking one of the greatest human rights causes of our time. Taking on this serious issue in France is the new Minister of Women’s Rights, Najat Vallaud-Belkacem. In this position she will also be addressing gender equality in the workplace, in government, and in society. Conscious of the example she sets as a working mother to three-year-old twins and married to a civil servant who has just been appointed to another ministry, her days are long and hard to balance. “I’m aware that beyond my own need to find a personal balance, I should be sending a signal to society as women’s minister about the importance of work-life balance.” But how? “It’s difficult,” she says, jumping up for the next meeting, but resolved to carve out time. Vallaud-Belkacem is inspiring a new generation of French girls and young women looking for possibilities… Today’s blog is written by 16-year-old Eléna from France. Eléna is a thinkpeace girl eager to see her country, and the world, on the road to gender equality and ready to do her part.

Hi everyone !

First I wish to you all a very, very happy new year ! All the best for this year 2014 !

What about women’s rights in 2014 ? How is gender equality going around the world ? In France, this year 2014 began with new projects and really much hope concerning women’s rights. I’d like to share with you what is happening for our rights in France, because it can be difficult to find out such informations… Economic crisis is sometimes taking all the place in our newspapers  around the world at the expense of  some (and maybe more) important things.

Before I began to write about this, I just had a look to some international newspapers to have an idea of what you were hearing about French events. Would it be about unemployment ? War in Central African Republic ? Not at all… This week on BBC News, on USA Today, on The Times Of India, or on Der Spiegel, I was just reading : « French First Lady hospitalized after affair rumor ». Wow. That was it. Nothing else. It sounded crazy, and a bit disappointing, to know that this scandal was the only thing people around the world (and even in France) will remember about those first days of January 2014 in France. Because, I mean, some very important things were happening this month, some things like really more important than the love affair of the President– in particular some good news for the women’s rights, so I thought it would be interesting to share it with you 😉 !

On the 6th January 2014 a ministerial Commission took place in Paris, and not just any : the Commission for the Women’s Rights, directed by the French Prime Minister Ayrault and the French Minister for Women’s Rights, Najat Vallaud-Belkacem. This name may ring a bell to some of you, because I already wrote a little post on my facebook wall last year about her. Born in Morocco in 1977, Najat Vallaud-Belkacem was appointed Minister of Women’s Rights and Government Spokesperson by the current French President Hollande in 2012. (Little note :  we have a socialist government for two years, and it was preceded by two centre-right governments from 2002 to 2012). It was  the first time that such a Ministry was really created in the French political story and the first time that a gender-balanced cabinet was created in France.

Actually, the fight for gender equality in France already began long ago, and in particular with the French Revolution. At school, we all learn that the social system knew a big progress with the « Declaration of the Rights of Man and of the Citizen » in 1789. But women weren’t included in it. We had to wait for the publication of the « Declaration of the Rights of Woman and of the Female Citizen », written in 1791 by the French young activist, Olympes de Gouges, who explained the failure of the French Revolution, which had been devoted in gender equality. So for the XVIIIth  century, lots of laws and regulations gradually changed and improved the situation of women: In 1880, women were admitted in the French universities for the first time, they were allowed to vote in 1944, and the right for abortion was legalised in 1975. In 1980 rape was qualified as crime by the law, and in 1992, conjugal violence and sexual harassment in the workplace were penalized by the law. The XXth    century marked a really big progress for women’s rights in France, in comparison to other countries around the world, but there is still a long way to go. Even though France may be considered a free and respectful country of human rights, the question of equality between men and women in the society is still hot: Women are still discriminated against in France, and they are victims of many injustices in the every day life : sexism, violence, unequal pay at work…

But this way to go is becoming every day shorter and shorter. Since the presidential elections in 2012, many things were made to defend women’s rights, to fight against sex violences and to promote the gender equality in our country. The Government made this fight a top priority and hasn’t neglected it: for 2 years, reforms and new laws have improved the condition of women. Najat Vallaud-Belkacem is very present on the political stage and is doing an enormous work: meetings, new projects… Her work is really inspiring for a lot of french people. I remember having listened to her during her speech in the Senate in September: she explained why she wanted to continue the fight for equality, how it would be possible. The bill she prepared was full of hope and her determination was impressive. She said that a new era had begun for the women’s rights, that the time had come to end the disparities between women and men. Education, employment, work, health… and prostitution, which have been an important part of the social debate in France these last months. Many projects were adopted last year to concretize gender equality  and the improvement of the women situation. Abortion became completely free for every woman, programs of support and professional reintegration for prostitutes or battered women were created, laws about parity at work were adopted. And this month of January began with that Commission I already mentioned. But do all of those projects, laws, ideas have a real impact in the society ? I hope so. We all hope so and believe in this action, even if it takes a long time. We already observed a big progress, and it won’t end there. Many people, and in particular the youth, believe in that evolution. Najat Vallaud-Belkacem came to my High School in October for a meeting. Many students skipped school for the afternoon to see Najat and listen to what she had to say. I was part of them and was totally inspired by her determination and her courage.

I would like to end with a message of hope for every woman in the world. The fight for gender equality just began in a lot of countries and is getting bigger and bigger. Everyone can be a part of it, everyone has a role to play in it. So, stand up for your rights!

P.S : What about women’s rights in your country? Share it with us!

 ♥

 

on growing outwards

Over the past few weeks I’ve heard it said that 2014 will be the year that girls across the globe get full rights– that THIS year will be our year. There have been countless “Women to Watch in 2014” “Women Heroes of 2013” and many other lists and commentary about women coming to the forefront of our workplaces, communities, and governments. While this is all well and good, (I love these lists as much, if not more, than the next person AND) why are we still talking about these things? Why is making lists of women heroes in a totally different category?

Now if you caught me at just the right moment, my witty response to these questions would be “This is why we can’t have nice things,” a thought process that Pop Art artist, Andy Warhol often drew from.  Humor and wit is one way to play this off and yet all of the issues presented in these lists aren’t that easy to solve. Equality, freedom, access to education, and respect are not issues that are going to solve themselves overnight. This year at thinkpeace we have been thinking, talking, reflecting, and processing what it means to start with ourselves and grow outwards into our local, national, and global communities.  And so, rather than giving a long (probably boring) talk about why those lists are oh so problematic, let’s talk about ourselves.

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A friend of mine sent me a TED talk last week about a woman who saw a need and then was compelled to find a solution. Now, I will be the first to admit that this example is not the best as it is full of white saviorism and “rescuing.” However, I think the thought process is one we can draw from: Cynthia Koenig got clear in herself what her desires, wishes, and dreams were for the world. She then saw a need– water access, and she went about finding a way to change the current reality into something that was cost effective, thoughtful, and life changing. She realized that we can only change from the inside out; a concentric bullseye of sorts with us in the middle, our families and friends in the next circle, our local communities in the third circle, our national community in the fourth, and our global community in the outer ring.  Koenig grew outwards.

And yet growth is often times scary, hard, challenging and more. Today in yoga, my teacher said, “life doesn’t give you a comfortable cushion upon which to grow from, you grow from where you are.”  For another example of this, I’m going to highlight another one of my favorite women doing “inside out” work. My girl, New York State Junior Senator Kristen Gillibrand.

at work, double time

Now, I will admit I’m slightly biased as Gillibrand is a graduate of my high school alma mater, still… The opening lines of a recent New Yorker Magazine article highlight her “inside out” mentality, “…needs to pick up her five-year-old son, Henry, from his after-school program by 6 p.m. For every minute she is late, the school charges ten dollars. At 5 p.m. on November 12th, a Tuesday, Gillibrand still had two votes to cast and a meeting with Harry Reid, the Senate Majority Leader. Her husband, Jonathan, a financial consultant, works in New York City during the week, and, on short notice, she couldn’t find a sitter who was available before six-thirty. She ducked out of the Capitol and returned shortly afterward with Henry. She sat down with him in Reid’s office, where he busied himself with chicken fingers, chocolate milk, and a game of tic-tac-toe.” One might say that she was multi-tasking, however from my perspective she is looking inward, realizing she needs to change the state of the things closest to her and then continue to work on continuing to push her Senate agenda. You see, the needs of her family came first; she was clear with herself that she couldn’t get work done if she didn’t figure out the things closest to her first.  Finally, just to be clear, I’m not saying that always choosing family over work or work over family is right or wrong. The point is that you get the opportunity to make choices you can live with every single day. You get to choose.

And so, PowerGirl, where are you going to grow from? What does it mean to get clear with who you are in order to change things outside yourself? What choices will you make?

As always, send me your thoughts garmin@thinkpeaceworkshop.org.

goal setting with GARMIN

goal setting

As I sat down to write this blog post, I was quickly interrupted by our 17 year old cat, Samantha. She wanted to be fed and she was going to keep meowing and whining until I did. In her old age Samantha continues to teach me a slew of lessons- the one this morning came with the unrelenting desire to get what she wanted. Goal setting and following through is just like that: you must have an unrelenting desire to get what you want in your life. Now, I’m not suggesting that you whine and meow until you get what you want; I’m suggesting that you keep pushing forward to get what you want.

My friends joke that anytime we talk that it is “Goal setting with GARMIN” because I love love love love setting goals and setting new possibilities for my life and the lives of the people around me. So before we move on, last week we reviewed the past year- the things that worked, didn’t, the things we liked and didn’t and reflected on themes, messages, and patterns. This week we are going to build on that. So, pull out your lists and notebooks.

There are lots of ways to set goals. The one that has worked for me is the BHAG method. BHAG stands for BIG HAIRY AUDACIOUS GOALS. So basically in its essence BHAG means, what would you do if you knew you could not fail? What seems like the most absurd, hardest goal you could ever think of? What have you dreamed of your whole life? What is number 1 on your life list?

Furthermore, setting big massive goals like this can be oh so overwhelming and so I often pick 1 or 2 goals for each of the following categories; emotional, physical, spiritual/religious, and professional/career. So in the end you should have 3-5 BHAGs for the year. Now. Take those goals and double check that they are specific. You are not a vague person and neither should your goals be. Get specific and detailed. Work out the nitty gritty. Vague goals will never get accomplished– I promise you that (and I don’t promise much in life).

I will share the BHAGs I have had in the past. Run a marathon, read the entire Bible, yoga 4x a week, write a hand written letter every week, read a book a month, no carbs (not one I would ever recommend. Ever. Cross that off your list right now), run 800 miles in a year, no reality TV for a year, get a 4.0 GPA, make my own decision about college and not let anyone influence me in my decision, and save ½ of every paycheck. These are just a handful of the ones I’ve set. There are as many types of goals as there are people.

My BHAGs for this year are:

1.  365 challenge/project life.(www.projectlife365.com/)

→ Take a photo a day for an entire year. If stuck, I will follow the prompts on the project life 365 blog

2.  #missionkilllyme

→I’ve been fighting Lyme disease for a while now. This is the year I will try everything in my power to put it into remission.

3.  Write a letter of gratitude every month

→ In Alaska this past summer I really ‘got’ what gratitude is. It clicked and  infiltrated my body. And now I have to do something with that. I have to send it out into the universe.

4.  Discover one new song/artist a week

→ After losing my iTunes library twice this year my music selection has dwindled significantly. And as an artist, an educator, a yoga teacher I have a responsibility to know what’s up in the music world.

 

Goals only work if you do. The final step for this week is to put your goals out there; put them out in the universe. Post them below here in the comment section, post them on Facebook, tell your friends, post them on your blog. The universe conspires to make things happen.

“You must do the things you think you cannot do”

So what are you going to do PowerGirl? What seems so crazy that it makes you want to scream? What is the hardest place in your life? Where do you shine?

Stay tuned for next week where we will talk about how to work our goals and manifest what we want into our lives. Happy New Year!!!

♥♥♥